나는 당신을 사랑하고 싶다
by Hyacinthoides
Summary: You were a living man and I was dead. But I want to love you.


**Disclaimer**: Ragnarok © Lee Myoung-Jin, Ragnarok Online © Gravity (and Lyto in Indonesia?), but Alexagrant is Hyacinthoides' and Alice is theirs! /lv

**Warning**: fail!Title, fail!English, fail!romance, fail!description, and--more failure.

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**I Want to Love You**  
_.by Hyacinthoides_

--

_So, he was a living man and I was dead._

--

I met him in my cave. He was with an Acolyte with blue hair and a Taekwon girl who wore a hat. There was a High Priest too so I couldn't do anything.

He had red spiky hair. He wasn't really tall. Unlike other Thieves (who had annoying and cold face), he looked nice. He got a fruit shell and... he was really cute when he smiled.

I saw that Acolyte girl kissed him. He blushed cutely. I couldn't stand them.

I attacked the girl. But he (and the other girl, of course) protected her.

Oh, how I wish I were alive.

--

_He was a free man and I was tied by destiny with Bongun._

--

He came again. Now only with that Acolyte girl. Why did it have to be her?

She smiled next to him when his level was up. She was there, she healed him, she blessed him. I had always hated Acolytes (and Priests, yes). But now, this hatred was much deeper.

But in the middle of our battle, he smiled. He got nice brown eyes. And he smelled nice too. That was the only time when the Acolyte couldn't get near us because I knew, she was afraid of me.

He joked about how beautiful I was. I knew it was a joke. He got a nice living girl, he didn't have to be the other Bongun who loved an undead. But still, I couldn't help but crying.

Bongun asked me after they went outside the cave. "Why are you crying, Dear Munak?"

I felt guilty. This was the person I had to love forever. I shouldn't lie to him. I shouldn't but I couldn't. He got tied forever with me. I shouldn't hurt him. But what should I do?

"Bongun," I said. "Why do I have to be dead?"

--

_He breathed the air and I couldn't even go out of this cave._

--

Today he came alone. He said he was bored and he was a bit shocked when I didn't attack him. He told me about himself.

His name was Alexagrant. He was born in Morroc. He wanted to be a Rogue. His Acolyte friend wasn't his girlfriend and she was busy so she couldn't come.

I _tried_ to tell him that my name was Munak. I was born in this town. I died around a hundred years ago. I _tried_ to express my adoration although I knew he wouldn't understand it. I knew he couldn't communicate easily with us, undead. That's why, I _tried_ my best to communicate with him.

He said I was cute. He liked my long braided hair. He laughed when he said that. Before he went outside, he said, "See ya!"

In a long long time, this was the first time when someone other than Bongun caught my heart. Completely.

--

_He had a beating heart and I didn't even have a soul._

--

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's been awhile, right?"

Yes, I missed you. A lot.

"I'm sorry, we were busy lately. I couldn't visit you frequently. We found another hunting area with more experience," he smiled happily.

He had grown up. He got taller.

"But don't worry. Hyacinth said it is okay for me to visit you sometimes."

He had become a Rogue already.

"This cave is the only place where Hyacinth feels safe because she knows that I won't be killed by all of you."

He got stronger. He smelled nicer. He had become more attractive than before.

"You know, Munak, Hyacinth grew up together with me. She was there when we killed Rockers for the first time. We got beaten up together. We found our way to Pharos for the first time and she has always liked that place. She waited for me in Pharos when I took the Rogue test. And I waited for her at the church."

He grew up a lot.

"Next week, I won't be able to visit you, sorry."

Where are you going?

"I will be reaaalllyyy busy. Hyacinth said that she wanted to go to Pharos Island when she gets married. And that's it; I will be the one who take her there."

Silence.

"Pray for our happiness, okay?" he smiled, once again. "Because you are my friend, I will always pray for your happiness with Bongun forever."

Silence. Silence.

I only heard his heartbeat.

Because he was alive.

--

_I wanted a life._

--

It had been years. The last time he visited me was one day before their wedding day. He said that they would move to another town so perhaps that would be the last time for him to visit me.

I missed him. Like dying. Although I died already.

How was he? Was he okay?

"Are you Munak?" asked a little girl.

I got a bit shocked because I couldn't sense her. I was about to attack her but then I stopped. She wore a goblin mask, I couldn't see her face. But she had red long hair, with two hibiscus flowers on each side of her head. And she was a Super Novice.

Was she...

She put her mask off and grinned. "Ah, I believe you are Munak," she said. "My name is Alicia Marionette, and you can call me either Alice or Marionette because papa sometimes calls me using both."

She had his red straight hair. And those violet eyes were his wife's, only Alicia's eyes were much sharper. She really resembled his father although her facial expression was her mother's.

This Alicia girl was their daughter. Was I correct?

"Bingo!" she smiled. "I'm Alexagrant's only daughter. Papa told me to visit you when he knew that I was going to go to Payon. He said that you would be a good friend, because I'm able to communicate with you better than him."

She… was able to hear me?

"I am," she answered. "Anyway, papa and mama are fine. They moved to Niflheim for some reason and yes, I was born in that town. If you wonder why I'm able to talk like this to you, it's just because I get used already with undead and demons," she laughed. "And papa said thank you for coming to the church on their wedding day, although it made you got beaten up by those Priests. And he knew that it must be hard for you since you shouldn't go out of this place. So he gives thanks to you, a lot."

Ah. That day…

"He said sorry because he wasn't able to meet you, because well, you know, things that newlyweds should do. But he was glad because you were okay."

Why was he so caring?

"And mama said sorry too. She too, as an Acolyte, was able to hear you. But she didn't do anything to help you. She felt really sorry, but she was too afraid of you."

That was okay. I was an undead, it's natural for people to be afraid of me.

Alicia smiled and gave me a nice hair clip. "Papa asked me to give this to you."

I was silent. Why was he so caring?

"Because you are his friend, aren't you?" Alicia wore her mask again. "Okay, I should be going soon. See ya!"

--

_I had always wanted a life._

_I had always wanted to love you._

_

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**I'm sorry for any sickness you get after reading this fic. Anyway, I don't know if people can live normally in Niflheim or not. But I think... they can, yes? And sorry for any inaccuracy because the last time I played RO was like, five years ago and now I play it again and even write a fic about it.**

**About the title, I used Google translator, so sorry for any mistake. I want to use Korean because Munak lives in Payon which is like a Korean village, right?**

**But the most of all, I'm sorry for my bad bad bad English. /otl**

**Review Y/Y?**

_I dedicate this fic to you, Alexagrant's RP-er. A friend I love the most. The best brother I've ever had. Forever my sweetheart you'll be.  
Hope that you carry me where your heart is, Bb. ;)  
_

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_September 26, 2009,  
----Hyacinthoides----_


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